


널 찾을 수 없어

by Quackyeon



Series: The Kpop 100 [1]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: #001: fame, Angst, Gen, Internal Monolouge, M/M, feeling empty, post return from hiatus, youngjae needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:16:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6994717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quackyeon/pseuds/Quackyeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What is the real price of fame?</p>
            </blockquote>





	널 찾을 수 없어

**Author's Note:**

> 널 찾을 수 없어 (trans: I can't find you) is from the song Blind off B.A.P's Matrix album. 
> 
> This was done for [The Kpop 100](http://thekpop100.livejournal.com/) for prompt #1 - Fame

_This wasn't how it was supposed to be._

Well at least that was what Youngjae told himself and he curled into the blankets. The air was cool, but not overly cold. He had considered getting up and moving into Daehyun's bed. That was something that had always made him feel better when it seemed like nothing would ease his soul. Daehyun, however, looked like he was sleeping soundly and there was nothing in the world that would make Youngjae want to wake the man up from any kind of sleep. They didn't get to sleep much these days, and it seemed like they were back in the same place they had been before they sued the company.

_They said it would be different this time._

The lie that he'd been fed over and over again. The lies the company had told him. The promises that had been made to get them to return burned in his chest. He hated it. He hated them. He hated everything. He hated the him who thought that being famous would mean he could look after his family. That his mother wouldn't have to work three jobs while his dad worked every job he could find just to keep a roof over their heads.

_But this is the price of fame._

Youngjae didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to keep this up. He'd look in the mirror and see a face that wasn't his own. He'd be sleeping next to Daehyun and wonder when he'd become a shell. He wondered how long he could be dead on the inside before the company noticed. Before he was reprimanded. He wondered if they'd ever fullfil their end of the bargain, but he was pretty sure that they'd just said what they had known Youngjae and the others had wanted to hear. Youngjae felt like he was having to give away part of himself, the part of him he liked most. But it was what was needed, it was the only way he was going to be able to get on stage in the morning, on less than two hours sleep and smile for the fans - who were in no way to blame for this. 

_And the price of fame was high._


End file.
